The Book of Jhereg Read online

  She led me up to room three. I insisted she go in first and watched her for signs that someone else was in there. I didn’t see any. When she turned back to me, Loiosh flew in.

  “Okay, boss. It’s safe.”

  She said, “Do you want that in here, too?”

  I said, “Yeah.”

  She shrugged and said, “Okay.”

  I entered the room. The curtain fell shut behind me. There was a mattress on the floor and a table next to it. I gave her an Imperial. “Keep it,” I said.

  “Thanks.”

  She took off her blouse. Her body was young. I didn’t move. She looked at me and said, “Well?”

  As I came toward her, she put on a fake dreamy smile, turned her face up to me, and held her arms out. I slapped her. She stepped back and said, “Hey!” I moved in and slapped her again. She said, “None of that!” I drew a knife from my cloak and held it up. She screamed.

  As the sound echoed and bounced around the room, I grabbed her arm and dragged her into a corner next to the doorway and held her there. There was fear in her eyes now. I said, “That’s enough. Open your mouth again and I’ll kill you.” She nodded, watching my face. I heard footsteps outside and I let go of her. The curtain swung aside and a big bludgeon entered, followed by a large Easterner with a black beard.

  He charged in, stopped when he saw the empty room, and started to look around. Before he had a chance to do so I had grabbed hold of his hair and was pulling his head into my knife, which was pressed against the back of his neck. I said, “Drop the club.” He tensed as if he were about to spring and I pressed harder. He relaxed and the club fell to the floor. I turned to the whore. The look on her face told me that this was her pimp, rather than just a bouncer for the inn or some interested citizen. “Okay,” I told her. “Get out of here.”

  She ran around us to pick up her blouse and left without looking at either of us, or stopping to dress. The pimp said, “You a bird?”

  I blinked. “Bird? Phoenix. Phoenix Guard. I like that. Lord Khaavren will like that. No, I’m not. Don’t be stupid. Who do you work for?”

  He said, “Huh?”

  I kicked the back of his knee and he sat down. I knelt on his chest and put the point of my knife in front of his left eye. I repeated my question. He said, “I don’t work for anyone. I’m on my own.”

  I said, “So I can do whatever I want to you, and no one will protect you, is that right?”

  This put a different light on things. He said, “No, I got protection.”

  I said, “Good. Who?”

  Then his eyes fell on the jhereg emblazoned on my cloak. He licked his lips and said, “I don’t want to get involved.”

  I couldn’t help smiling at that. “How much more involved can you get?”

  “Yeah, but—”

  I created some pain for him. He yelped. I said, “Who protects you?”

  He gave me an Eastern name that I didn’t recognize. I moved the knife a bit away from his face, relaxed my hold on him a little and said, “Okay. I’m working for Kelly. Know who I mean?” He nodded. I said, “Good. I want you off the streets. For good. You’re out of business as of now, okay?” He nodded again. I grabbed a lock of his hair then, sliced it off with my knife, held it in front of him and put it away inside my cloak. His eyes widened. I said, “I can find you now any time I want to. Understand?” He understood. “All right. I’m going to be back here in a few days. I’ll want to see that fine young lady I just spoke to. And I want to see that she hasn’t been hurt. If she has been I’ll take pieces of you home with me. If I can’t find her, I won’t bother with the pieces. Can you understand that?” Apparently we were still communicating; he nodded. I said, “Good,” and left him there. I saw no sign of the tag.

  I left the inn and walked west about half a mile and went into a little cellar place. I asked the host, an ugly, squinty guy, if he knew where I could find some action.

  “Action?”

  “Action. You know, shereba, s’yang-stones, whatever.”

  He looked at me blankly until I passed an Imperial across the counter. Then he gave me an address a few doors down. I followed his directions and, sure enough, there were three shereba tables in use. I spotted the guy who was running it, sitting with the back of his chair against a wall, dozing. I said, “Hi. Sorry to bother you.”

  He opened one eye. “Yeah?”

  I said, “Know who Kelly is?”

  “Huh?”

  “Kelly. You know, the guy who shut down the whole—”

  “Yeah, yeah. What about him?”

  “I work for him.”

  “Huh?”

  “You’re out of business. Game over. Closed. Get everyone out of here.”

  The room was small, and I’d been making no effort to keep my voice down. The card playing had stopped and everyone was watching me. Just as the pimp had, this guy noticed the stylized jhereg on my cloak. He seemed puzzled. “Look,” he said. “I don’t know who you are, or what kind of game you’re playing—”

  I stole a trick from the Phoenix Guards: I smacked him across the side of his head with the hilt of a dagger, then brandished the dagger. I said, “Does this straighten things out for you?” I heard movement behind me.

  “Trouble, Loiosh?”

  “No, boss. They’re leaving.”

  “Good.”

  When the room was empty, I let the guy up. I said, “I’ll be checking on you. If this place does anymore business, I’ll have your ass. Now get out.”

  He left in a hurry. I left more slowly. I allowed myself one evil chuckle, just because I felt like it. By the time I was done it was early evening and I’d terrorized three whores, as many pimps, two game operators, a bookie and a cleaner.

  A good day’s work, I decided. I headed back to the office to talk to Kragar, to put the second part of the plan into operation.

  * * *

  Kragar thought I was crazy.

  “You’re crazy, Vlad.”

  “Probably.”

  “They’ll all just desert you.”

  “I’m going to keep paying them.”

  “How?”

  “I’m rich, remember?”

  “How long can that last?”

  “A few weeks, of which I’ll only need one.”

  “One?”

  “Yeah. I spent today stirring up Herth and Kelly and pointing them at each other.” I gave him a quick summary of the day’s activities. “It’ll take them maybe a day, each, to figure out who really did it. Herth will come after me with everything he has, and Kelly . . .”

  “Yeah?”

  “Wait and see.”

  He sighed. “All right. You want every business you own shut down by tomorrow morning. Fine. Everyone in hiding for a week. Fine. You say you can afford it, okay. But this other business, in South Adrilankha, I just can’t see it.”

  “What’s to see? We’re just continuing what I started today.”

  “But fires? Explosions? That’s no way to—”

  “We have people who can do that sort of thing properly, Kragar. We were trained by Laris, remember?”

  “Sure, but the Empire—”

  “Exactly.”

  “I don’t get it.”

  “You don’t have to. Just handle the details.”

  “Okay, Vlad. It’s your show. What about our own places? Like this one, for instance.”

  “Yeah. Get hold of the Bitch Patrol and protect them. Full sorcerous protection, including teleport blocks, and increase what we have here. I can—”

  “—Afford it. Yeah, I know. I still think you’re crazy.”

  “So will Herth. But he’s going to have to deal with it anyway.”

  “He’ll come after you, if that’s what you want.”

  “Yep.”

  He sighed, shook his head and left. I leaned back in my chair, feet up on my desk, and made sure I hadn’t missed anything.

  * * *

  Cawti was home when I got there. We said hel
lo and how was your day and like that. We settled down in the living room, next to each other on the couch so we could feel nothing had changed, but a foot or so apart so we didn’t have to take chances. I got up first, stretching, and announcing that I was going to go to sleep. She hoped I’d sleep well. I suggested that she probably needed some sleep herself, and she allowed that she did and would be in soon. I retired. Loiosh and Rocza were a bit subdued. I can’t imagine why. I feel asleep quickly, as I always do when I have a plan working. It’s one of the things that keeps me sane.

  * * *

  I teleported to the office early the next morning and waited for reports. Herth was about as quick on the uptake as I’d thought he’d be. I heard that attempts had been made to penetrate the spells around my office building and one or two other places.

  “Glad you suggested we protect them, Kragar,” I said.

  He mumbled.

  “Something bothering you, Kragar?”

  He said, “Heh. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  I started to say, “I always know what I’m doing,” but that would have rung a bit hollow, so I said, “I think so.” That seemed to satisfy him.

  “Okay, then, what’s next?”

  I mentioned someone important in the organization, and what my next step was. Kragar looked startled, then nodded. “Sure,” he said, “He owes you one, doesn’t he?”

  “Or two or three. Set it up for today if possible.”

  “Right.”

  He was back in an hour. “The Blue Flame,” he said. We shared a smile of common memories. “The eighth hour. He said he’d take care of all protection, which means he knows something of what’s going on.”

  I nodded. “He would.”

  “Do you trust him?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “I’ll have to trust him eventually, so I might as well trust him for this.”

  Kragar nodded.

  Later in the day I received word that we’d torched a couple of buildings in South Adrilankha. By now Herth must be biting his nails, wishing he could get his hands on me. I chuckled. Soon, I told him, soon.

  I felt a funny sort of mental itch, and knew what it meant.

  “Who is it?”

  “Chimov. I’m near Kelly’s headquarters.”

  “What’s up?”

  “They’re moving out of the place.”

  “Ah ha. Find out where they’re going.”

  “Will do. They have a whole crowd. It looks like they expect trouble. They’re also posting handbills, and passing out leaflets all over the place.”

  “Have you read one?”

  “Yeah. It’s about a mass meeting for tomorrow afternoon in Naymat Park. The big print at the top says ‘A Call To Arms.’”

  “Well,” I said. “Excellent. Stay with it, and keep out of trouble.”

  “Right, boss.”

  “Kragar!”

  “Yeah?”

  “Oh. Get someone over to Kelly’s headquarters. Make it four or five. As soon as it’s empty, go in and trash the place. Break up any furniture that’s left, smash up walls, wreck the kitchen, that kind of thing.”

  “Okay.”

  I spent the rest of the day like that. Messages would come in, about this or that work of destruction completed, or some attack by Herth foiled, and I’d sit there and snap out the response to it. I was operating efficiently again, and it felt so good I kept going far into the evening, tightening this or that piece of surveillance, adding this or that nudge to Kelly or Herth. Of course, the office was just about the safest place for me to be just then, which was another good reason for working late.

  As evening wore on, I exchanged messages with an Organization contact inside the Imperial Palace, and learned that, yes, the powers-that-be had noted what was going on in South Adrilankha. Herth’s name had come up, but so far mine had not. Perfect.

  When it got near to the eighth hour after noon I collected Sticks, Glowbug, Smiley, and Chimov and we made our way to the Blue Flame. I left them near the door, because my guest had already arrived and he had promised to handle protection. And, in fact, I noticed a pair of customers and three waiters who looked like enforcers. I bowed as I approached the table.

  He said, “Good evening, Vlad.”

  I said, “Good evening, Demon. Thanks for coming.” He nodded and I sat. The Demon, for those of you who don’t know, was a big man on the Jhereg council—the group that makes decisions affecting the whole business end of House Jhereg. He was generally considered the number-two man in the Organization; not someone to mess around with. However, as Kragar had mentioned, he owed me a favor for some “work” I’d done for him recently.

  We exchanged amenities for a while, then, as the food showed up, he said, “So, you’ve gotten yourself into trouble, I hear.”

  “A bit,” I said. “Nothing I can’t handle, though.”

  “Indeed? Well, that’s nice to hear.” He gave me a kind of puzzled look. “Then why did you want to meet with me?”

  “I’d like to arrange for nothing to happen.”

  He blinked. “Go on,” he said.

  “The Empire may start to take notice of the game that Herth and I are playing, and when the Empire notices, the Council notices.”

  “I see. And you want us not to interfere.”

  “Right. Can you give me a week to settle things?”

  “Can you keep the trouble confined to South Adrilankha?”

  “Pretty much,” I said. “I won’t be touching him anywhere else, and I’ve shut down and protected everything I own, so it will be hard for him to hit me. There may be one or two bodies turning up, but nothing to cause great excitement.”

  “The Empire isn’t too keen on bodies turning up, Vlad.”

  “There shouldn’t be too many. None, in fact, if my people are careful. And, as I say, it ought to be settled in a week.”

  He studied me. “You have something going, don’t you?”

  I said, “Yeah.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “No one can say you aren’t resourceful, Vlad. All right, you have a week. I’ll take care of it.”

  I said, “Thanks.”

  He offered to pay for the meal, but I insisted. It was my pleasure.

  14

  . . . brush to remove white particles . . .

  I GOT THE FULL escort home from my bodyguards. They left me just outside the door, and as I stepped past the threshold I felt the draining of a tension that I hadn’t known had been building up. You see, while my office is very well protected, one’s home is strictly inviolate by Jhereg custom. Why? I don’t know. Perhaps for the same reason temples are; just a matter of you ought to be safe somewhere no matter what, and everyone is too open to attacks this way. Maybe there’s another reason for it. I’m not sure. But I’ve never heard of this custom being violated.

  Of course, I’d never heard of anyone stealing from the Jhereg before it happened, either, but you have to depend on something.

  Don’t you?

  Anyway, I was home and safe and Cawti was in the living room, reading her tabloid. My heart skipped, but I recovered and smiled. “Home early,” I remarked.

  She didn’t smile when she looked up at me. “You bastard,” she said, and there was real feeling behind the words. I felt my face flushing, and a sick feeling started in the pit of my stomach and spread out to all salient points. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t known she’d find out what I was doing, or hadn’t known what her reaction was going to be, so why should it come as such a shock when she did just what I’d expected her to?

  I swallowed and said, “Cawti—”

  “Didn’t you think I’d find out what you were up to, beating up Herth’s people and blaming it on us?”

  “No, I knew you would.”

  “Well?”

  “I’m working a plan.”

  “A plan,” she said, her voice dripping contempt.

  “I’m doing what I have to.”

  She managed an expression that was half-snee
r and half-scowl. “What you have to,” she said, as if she were discussing the mating habits of teckla.

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “You have to do everything you can to destroy the only people who—”

  “The only people who are going to cost you your life? Yes. And for what?”

  “A better life for—”

  “Oh, stop it. Those people are so full of great ideals that they can’t manage to understand that there are people in the world, people who shouldn’t get tromped over without reason. Individuals. Starting with you and me. Here we are, on the verge of—I don’t know what—on account of these great saviors of humanity, and all you can see is what’s happening to them. You’re blind to what’s happening to us. Or else you don’t care anymore. And this doesn’t tell you that there’s something wrong with them?”

  She laughed, and it was a hateful laugh. “Something wrong with them? That’s your conclusion? Something wrong with the movement?”

  “Yeah,” I said. “That’s my conclusion.”

  Her mouth twisted, she said, “Do you expect me to buy that?”

  I said, “What do you mean, buy?”

  “I mean, you can’t sell that product.”

  “What am I supposed to be selling?”

  “You can sell anything you want, as far as I’m concerned.”

  “Cawti, you aren’t making sense. What—”

  “Just shut up,” she said. “Bastard.”

  She’d never called me names before. It’s still funny, how that stung.

  For the first time in quite a while I felt anger toward her. I stood there looking at her, feeling my feet seem to attach to the floor and my face harden, and I welcomed the cold rush of it, at first. She stood there, glaring at me (I hadn’t even noticed her standing up) and that just fed into it. There was a ringing in my ears, and it came to me, as from a distance, that I was out of control again.

  I took a step toward her, and her eyes grew wide and she backed up half a step. I don’t know what would have happened if she hadn’t, but that was sufficient to give me enough control to turn and leave the house.