My Own Kind of Freedom Read online

  It was on this yongyuan bei ding wei laipigou de wanju world called Hera that he had noticed an overturned supply truck on a deserted road, and moved his command half a klick to the west and so outflanked what would have been an ugly, ugly ambush. And again and again, the same thing had happened. So she ought to trust him to pick up on Jayne’s oddity, and, not just pick up on it, but figure out what it meant. Which was more than she could do.

  Except that the Captain just wasn’t himself these days, and that was cause for worry.

  The “town” of Yuva began abruptly as the road split into two main streets, which ran parallel for about a mile before the southernmost (“South Street,” said a sign) left you at the top of a hill leading down to where the miners lived in what was effectively a different, larger, and much filthier town. North Street was half a mile longer, ending in the company security office. On South Street, a bright, clean-looking store stood on the right beneath a sign saying, “Company Store,” opposite a small park-like area, with a pond and a few scrubby trees.

  Sakarya’s mansion (white, square, and imposing) was perched on a sort of hillock (artificial, and artificially green) just south of the store.

  Zoë continued chewing over the problem, though she still scanned the empty street in a habit so deeply ingrained she could never shake it. Could she talk to her Wash about what was going on with the Captain? It got into tricky areas between them.

  They continued up the street, past the long, walled and gated driveway leading up the hill. The effect was more absurd than imposing—why set the mansion back from a two-street little town?

  To the north was a small, square brick building, that said in Chinese characters, “office.”

  “I’d imagine,” said the Captain, “that this is it.”

  “Good,” said Jayne. “Let’s get our ruttin’ money.”

  “You may as well relax,” said the Captain. “We’re probably going to be stuck waiting for unloading instructions, and waiting longer to get paid.”

  “Wo taoyan dengyideng . For how long?”

  “A few hours, most like. Maybe a day. Rich guys take time before they’re willing to part with money. You good with that, Zoë?”

  “Of course, sir. Let’s go in.”

  The Captain led the way.

  Serenity: Med bay

  She hated it that Kaylee was afraid of her, and so she didn’t go near the engine room any more than she had to. She understood why Kaylee feared her: it was because Kaylee, as much as she knew about engines, didn’t really see how anyone could be comfortable with fractal geometry. It had all been that one incident, the time months ago when Kaylee had seen her factor so many variables at one time, in the skyplex with all the shooting going on. Too many variables, and the equation solved too quickly, and Kaylee couldn’t comprehend it, and so she was afraid.

  Once River had tried to explain that problems in fractal geometry were easier if you solved them from the inside, but the explanation had come out muddled.

  Communication was so difficult, because you needed to access so many different parts of your brain to form a sentence and they all worked at different speeds, and the part that told the sentence to vocalize worked at yet a different speed; and then there were the ants inside your brain interfering with everything.

  She had tried to explain that to Simon once, but had gotten that look that said he was being Patient and Concerned. She hated that look.

  He had that look now, as he sat next to her bed in the infirmary and studied her insides on his charts that didn’t show the ants.

  “I wish you could remember more,” he said. “I mean, about what they did to you. Did they ever explain what they were trying to make you into?”

  “Yes,” she said. “They told me they weren’t really ants.”

  “Ants?”

  “Yes. In my brain. They aren’t really ants, I know that. I just call them ants because that’s what it feels like when they go walking around everywhere making it hard to see where everything is that I’m trying to get. I call them ants, but they aren’t.”

  “All right.”

  “They’re really termites.”

  She sneaked a peek at him. He had the Look again.

  “River—”

  “If I were deeper than the bay, I’d be a tidal estuary. But that assumes I’m going somewhere. Only I’m staying here. And I think I’m going backward.”

  “You aren’t going backward. I’m going to find out what they did to you, and undo it.”

  “Not before he comes back.”

  “Who, River?”

  “Who?”

  “Who is coming back?”

  “Oh. No one. Anyone who’s gone that far away can never really come back. But the Captain doesn’t know that.”

  “River, I don’t understand what you’re telling me.”

  Of course he didn’t understand. How could he understand when he thought lines of probability only existed metaphorically? When all he had to understand with was himself? When he kept everything out? When he couldn’t see that the ghosts who had never died were the ones who could hurt you never had the ghost of a chances were that the right answers were always to the wrong question everything and be sure of nothing ever changes in a stasis—

  “River?”

  “I was thinking.”

  “What about?”

  “Nothing. Are you hungry? I can cook something.”

  “When did you learn to cook?”

  She stuck her tongue out at him.

  Simon smiled affectionately. “I’d like a snack. Should we ask Kaylee if she wants to join us?”

  “No. She doesn’t like me.”

  “Of course she does.”

  “No, she doesn’t. She’s been afraid of me ever since I solved that problem in fractal geometry.”

  “Why would she be afraid of you for solving a geometry problem?”

  “Some people are just afraid of numbers.”

  Chapter 2

  My Own Kind of Sickness

  Yuva: Company office

  THREE HOURS later they left the office.

  “Well,” said Mal, “that was the most fun I’ve ever had.”

  “Yes, sir,” said Zoë. “I especially enjoyed where they didn’t have any chairs to sit in while we were waiting.”

  “I liked the way they ignored us.”

  “I still say it would have sped things up if you’d let me shoot one or two of the clerks,” said Jayne.

  “I’m sure something would have happened fast,” said Mal. “Anyway, we have a few hours before they show up to unload us. Go get a drink if you want, Jayne.”

  Jayne grunted, but continued walking with them. Mal felt Zoë looking at him.

  What the hell was going on with his gorram crew? Kaylee was acting like every time she spoke to him she was afraid of what he’d say, Zoë and Wash were having whispered conversations and exchanging looks, and Jayne….

  They went up the ramp into Serenity’s bowels. Kaylee was leaning on the rail above, with a “tell me how it went” look. Next to her was an empty space.

  “Zoë, let me know when they get here.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Jayne headed up the stairs toward his quarters. Mal followed him, then continued up toward the bridge.

  “Hey, Mal,” said Wash. “How did it go?”

  “Long and boring. Anything here?”

  “An invasion by seven-foot tall clones with americium in their veins, but I fought them off with the laser cannon. We going to unload?”

  “No, the client is sending his people.”

  “You going to supervise?”

  “I expect I will.”

  “Good. During the loading, I just ended up standing there looking like an idiot.”

  Mal stared at him. “You supervised the loading?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I thought Jayne was going to do it.”

  “He asked me to. Said he wanted to run an errand.”

  An
errand? What sort of errand could you run on Paquin? All they have there is….

  Without another word he stood up and left the bridge, heading toward Jayne’s quarters. Halfway there, he started running. By the time he reached it, he was cursing as well.

  He pushed open the door and climbed down the ladder. The big man was looking over his shoulder at the door, facing his cupboard, and holding a canvas sack.

  “Yeah, Mal?”

  “What’s in the sack, Jayne?”

  “Huh? Nothing. Just some stuff.”

  “Let’s see what stuff.”

  “Mal, there’s no need—”

  He crossed the three steps and grabbed the sack. Jayne didn’t let go of it, but there was no need to; it was open.

  “Well now,” said Mal. “Those’ll bring a good price.”

  “Just a little private enterprise oper—”

  “Just a little matter of stealing from a client.”

  “Hell, Mal. We steal all the time. What’s the mei you shenma liaobuqi?”

  “And what’s going to happen next time we want a job there?”

  “One gorram spot on one gorram moon—”

  “That we’ll be going back to after this job to return the ginseng.”

  “I’ll return the stuff when houzi cong wo gangmen feichulai.”

  “We’re returning it as soon as we’ve finished our business here.”

  “There’s no ruttin’ way I’m giving this stuff up.”

  “Why are we still talking about this—”

  Jayne pushed past him, climbed the ladder, and started down the hall, still holding his sack.

  Mal climbed after him. “Jayne!”

  There were times when he could deal with Jayne, and just accept it as part of the job. And then there were other times.

  Jayne stopped and faced Mal. Mal kept his voice even. “You leave this boat with those goods, you won’t be coming back on.”

  Jayne stared at him, jaw clenched. Mal met his eyes and waited.

  Serenity: Catwalk

  “Captain, do you have a minute?”

  “Until they show up for the cargo, I have nothing but time.”

  Simon nodded, opened his mouth, closed it again. “I—”

  “Spit it out, doctor. What’s on your mind?”

  It was so difficult talking to the Captain; one never knew how he’d react. In a way, his worldview was as skewed as River’s, which made it as big a challenge to find the right words as when speaking with Kaylee.

  He said, “I don’t know if this is any of my business, but I—”

  “Just say it, doctor.”

  Simon took a breath. “I saw Jayne walking out, looking like…well, carrying a couple of duffel bags. Big, full bags, like, maybe, everything he—”

  “Jayne has left the crew.”

  “Oh,” said Simon.

  “Anything else?”

  “I…yes. I’m wondering if his leaving will…that is, I’m afraid—”

  “You think he might sell you out to the Alliance?”

  “Well, we’ve never been exactly best friends. And his ideas of loyalty are, let’s say, idiosyncratic. So, yes, I’m worried he might inform the Alliance about us.”

  “So am I. In fact, I think it’s pretty near a sure thing.”

  “Oh. Well, then.”

  “Anything else on your mind?”

  “Uh, no, that about covers it.”

  “Good, then.”

  Simon hesitated for a moment, then went back to check on his sister.

  Yuva

  After stowing his gear at the local depot, he spent an hour wandering around Yuva. In that time, while he failed to spot a police station, he did find a small shack that said, “Security” at the west end of North Street. Well, that was going to be easier than walking into an actual police station, anyway.

  He made sure his pistol was concealed by his shirt, took a deep breath, and went in.

  Two bored-looking security guards sat behind two tiny desks, one over-crowded with smart paper, the other with comm gear. They both looked up at him as he entered; neither seemed especially interested.

  I could take them both, he thought.

  One of them, wearing a hat and a pot-belly, said, “Yeah?”

  “I need to use your comm to reach a fed.”

  They stared at him for a moment. “This a joke?”

  “Do I look like I’m joking?”

  “Who are you, anyway?”

  “I’m the guy looking to reach the feds. You the guys gonna tell them why you wouldn’t let me?”

  He saw that shot hit. They looked at each other. “What’s your name?”

  “None of your ruttin’ business. Are you going to hook me up with the feds, or not?”

  They looked at each other again, then pot-belly nodded at the other, who played with the comm setup for a minute, put on the headphones, then spoke into the mic. “This is Station HE nine three six six one, requesting code seven authorization…no, a civilian…He won’t give it…I don’t know…all right.”

  He held out the mic and the headphones to Jayne. “Okay, it’s all yours.”

  He put the headset on and spoke into the mic. “You there?” He waited. “Hello?”

  The man behind the console cleared his throat. “You have to push that button down to talk.”

  “Yeah,” said Jayne. Then, “Anyone there?”

  A voice crackled from the headset. “Identify yourself.”

  “No ruttin’ way. I got the location of a fugitive you want bad. Her name is River Tam. Now, if you don’t want her, just say so, and I’ll be about my business.”

  The pause was very satisfying; it lasted most of a minute. Then there was a new voice. “Where is River Tam?”

  “Where is my money?”

  “Tell us where she is, and you’ll get your money.”

  “You guys tried that with me once before. I got humped, and you still don’t have the girl. I see the money before you get wo zuo gaowan de suozai.”

  There was another pause, then: “All right, what do you propose?”

  “You know what town I’m in; how soon can you get someone here?”

  “Wait a moment.”

  “Take your time. I have all day.”

  This time, the pause was a good five minutes, which Jayne spent leaning on the desk and giving the two security guards the eye. Then, “All right, we have someone there.”

  “Already?”

  “He can meet you at the canteen in an hour. If you prefer some other place, we’ll accommodate you.”

  “No, that’s fine.”

  “You’ll negotiate a price with him, and the payment arrangements.”

  “Someone you trust, eh? All right, be there in an hour.”

  Jayne took off the headphones and the mic, and tossed them back to the security guard. The one in the hat said, “What, the Alliance has an agent here? Is that what they said?”

  “Guess so,” said Jayne. “Burn on you guys, eh?”

  He chuckled and headed out the door and toward the canteen.

  Serenity: Catwalk

  “What a perfect, magnificent ass.”

  Zoë looked around and spoke over her shoulder. “I hope you’re talking about me, and not one of them.”

  Wash came up next to her and looked down at the cargo area. “I don’t know. That one by the ramp is kinda cute, in a big, hairy, bearded guy sort of way.”

  “I was just thinking that.”

  “Can I borrow that big, hairy, ugly gun of yours for just a minute? I’ll give it right back.”

  “Now dear, you know we’re not supposed to murder the help.”

  “Speaking of murder, what’s up with Jayne?”

  She shrugged. “I asked the Captain. He grunted. But it looks like Jayne’s gone.”

  “Gone. What kind of gone?”

  “Gone gone.”

  “Oh.”

  She looked at her man. “You seem disappointed. I didn’t think you were th
at fond of him.”

  “Sweetie, I’m fond of people who help keep you alive and with all of your moving parts intact. Not to mention the motionless parts, which have their own charm. Any idea what happened?”

  “No. I imagine we’ll hear about it eventually.”

  “It’ll make great dinner conversation. Sweetie—”

  “Hmm?”

  “What’s wrong with Mal?”

  “That is the question, isn’t it?”

  “No, honey. The question is, why won’t you talk to me about it.”

  Zoë reached over and squeezed his arm, then stepped to the intercom. “Sir, they’re here to unload the ship.”

  “I’ll be right down.”

  Wash said, “Honey—”

  She just shook her head, and he fell silent.

  Company Headquarters

  He was both at “work” and at work when his belt buckle started vibrating. He liked it when he could do both at once; it made him feel that the ’verse was behaving the way it was supposed to.

  The “work” part he could do with only a portion of his brain: download tonnage of dirt moved, download percentage of pay dirt, download content of pay dirt, download produce futures, download bauxite futures, run the projections, break them down, generate the report. Tedious, but, once you’ve learned the system (and Kit learned systems quickly and easily), there was nothing to it.

  The work part was more entertaining, more important, and just the least little bit scary: monitor everyone else in the office without ever being caught doing so, wait for someone to be sloppy with a keycode, sniff around in places he wasn’t supposed to have access to, look for the fact, the hard number, that would add another layer of sealant to the case he was building. And, if he were very lucky, maybe he’d be able to get to Miss Wuhan’s system, and then he could just walk out the door and be done with it.

  What he did not want was anything to break him away from both activities at once, and that’s just what it meant when his belt buckle started vibrating.

  Gorram them anyway; this better be important.